The Naked Truth
by Oh-no-she-di'ent
Summary: This story is most definitely about Luke and Lorelai. You know you want to click. The word 'naked' is used for crying out loud! Note rating. Story's complete.


**Disclaimer**: Did you _see_ my name in the credits? Well, you all don't know my name...but trust me, it's not there.

**Stuff I wanna say:** What's poppin' ppl?  
This story takes place in season 4, and it's a variation on the test run episode, _Rainbows and Rhinestones_ or _Raincoats and Rabbitheads_...you all know which one. I know it contains some sort of alliteration. I know twists on this epi have been done millions upon millions of times, but _pleeeeeeease_ ask me if I care. Go ahead. Even I'm looking forward to hearing that answer. :-D Other than it being the test run, though, everything's different. I would explain the plot, but honestly the title says it all. Besides, I hate doing summaries.

And listen, I slapped an M rating on this thing, and as fun as it is to see that big _(let's face it)_ X-rating on a story, I didn't do it for my own amusement. Note the rating. Observe the rating. _Heed _the rating. It's there for a reason. Okay...ready, set, read...

**The Naked Truth **

"Oh, my god!" Lorelai laughed hard as she tried to gain control of herself. "Luke, are you sure you're okay?" She asked, water now filling her eyes as the laughter continued.

Luke stood in place glaring at her. "Lorelai, this is not funny," he said before rolling his eyes and looking down at himself.

Vegetable soup covered his entire front, and it dripped down his body.

"Luke, I am soooo sorry. I thought I saw so--"

"Leave," Luke said tightly.

Kirk continued his explanation. "You really shouldn't put olives in your soup. I could have sworn it was a bug or--"

"Leave. Now," Luke said moving a hand up to his face to wipe away splashes of sauce.

Kirk looked over at Lorelai whose face was dropped into her palms as smothered laughter still made its way to both his and Luke's ears. He returned attention to Luke. "Do I still have to pay for the soup?" He asked, causing Luke's jaw to tighten.

Luke had placed the bowl of soup in front of Kirk moments before. Kirk started blowing into the bowl to cool its contents while he slowly stirred it around. Luke had picked up his pen and was writing something on his notepad in front of where Lorelai sat when he heard a shrill noise coming from Kirk. Before he could fully look up in his direction, his whole front was being warmed unpleasantly by Kirk's order.

Kirk had panicked and lifted the bowl, choosing to toss the soup in the very space that Luke occupied. Much of it had gotten on his layers of clothing so he wasn't burned. Lorelai, shocked at first, asked genuinely if he was okay, and as soon as she got confirmation that he was, there was immediate laughter from her.

He watched as Kirk picked up an olive off of the countertop and gave him a fearful, apologetic look.

Luke never felt that violence was the way to go. He'd rant and scream and clench his fists, but he simply didn't have the urge to physically harm anyone. That is until he met Kirk. It seemed that Kirk tested his self-restraint every opportunity he had. He repeated his earlier statement.

"Kirk, leave. I want you to get out."

Kirk's eyes shifted. "So, I don't have to pay, then?" he asked feebly.

"I don't want your money. I want you to not be here right now." He pointed a rigid finger toward the diner's door. "I don't want to see you for at least twenty-four hours. Now disappear."

"Okay, I'm confused. Do you want me to leave, or do you want me to disappear...because I really haven't perfected the art of vanishing into--"

"Kirk," Luke growled.

He hopped up. "Going," he said quickly. He paused and leaned back toward the counter. "I really am sor--"

"Why am I still able to see you?" Luke asked.

Kirk walked briskly out of the diner before breaking out in a run across the square.

Luke looked back over to Lorelai. "Are you going to be finished sometime today?" He asked of her amusement.

She lifted her face. "I'm not making any promises." Luke's eyes narrowed toward her. She was undeterred. "I'm so happy that I was here to witness that." Luke held out his arms and surveyed the mess. Pointing at him, she added, "I mean, you can't pay for that kind of comedy."

He looked at her and shook his head. "Some friend you are," he mumbled as he walked over to the curtain.

"Hey, I _asked _if you were okay." She took a couple breaths and sobered up, taking the moment to wipe her damp eyes. "You are, aren't you?" She asked concerned.

"Yeah, sure, I'll survive. Thanks," he responded. "I'll be back in a minute."

"Wait, this isn't going to put a damper on the timetable, is it?"

Luke stopped and tossed a frown in her direction. "What _timetable? _There is no _timetable."_

"Yes, there is," she said assuredly.

He turned back to face her. "Lorelai, I agreed to go with you to this thing. You said the last meeting is at 8:30p, and it's not even 2. Relax."

"But, we have our own timetable to keep to. Why do you not know this?" She asked. He looked at her blankly. She sighed. "Luke, I appreciate you agreeing to go to this last informational inn meeting with me. You know that. But, the test run is tonight, and we have to get back early so that I can be in place and ready to greet everyone. And, since you're spending the evening there too, it makes since that you just be there early with me."

"Whatever," he said. "I didn't exactly anticipate getting soup thrown all over me, so timetable or no timetable, I have to go change. Besides, we have plenty of time, so chill out." He turned and started up the stairs. "Wait here." he ended.

"Time waits for no man!" She yelled after him. "Make it snappy!"

"Drink your coffee!" He yelled back down to her.

Lorelai smiled and took a sip from her mug.

Over the last few weeks, she had attended several meetings in and around Hartford that gave great insight into running an inn. After the disastrous inn meetings that she and Sookie had attended the previous year, she was pleasantly surprised to find ones that catered to all she wished to accomplish. The last one that she was going to was going on in thirty minute segments all day until later that night. She had always felt that Luke was a great person to bounce ideas off of since he had successfully run the diner since its transformation from a hardware store. When she asked him about his availability on the day of the test run, he'd said he was open and agreed to attend with her. Guests for the test run were to begin showing up at 6 that night.

As Lorelai sat on her stool at the counter, she wondered if Luke would bring a nice pair of clothes for dinner. It wasn't exactly a formal affair, but it would be a little less casual than his usual attire. She didn't want him to feel out of place as Stars Hollow's residents gathered in the Dragonfly's dining area.

She climbed off of the stool and walked toward the staircase. She hoped that he was going to pack before leaving for the meeting, and she wanted to let him know before he got too far in his flannel packing.

Upon reaching the top, she let out an exaggerated breath and looked back down at the multiple steps evilly. "Gosh, Luke, ever heard of an elevator?" She mumbled quietly to herself. She turned toward his door. "Knock, knock," she said loudly with two simultaneous taps on the glass. She twisted the knob and stepped inside the next moment without waiting on an answer.

"Luke, you--" She stopped mid-sentence as her mouth dropped open. Every part of her froze--her thoughts, vocabulary, breathing, as well as her physical self. Her eyes were glued to one thing.

Luke quickly bent down to retrieve his towel. He wrapped it back around his naked body and stared down at the floorboards. He was fumbling with getting it to stay and had nervously let it go upon hearing Lorelai's voice in the hall. He glanced back up at her, and she was still silent and unmoving. His breathing was labored, having just gotten back the ability to breathe, himself. He was embarrassed, but above all, he was mad. Increasingly so--since she remained silent, adding unbearable amounts of discomfort into the situation. He had no idea what to say.

Lorelai closed her eyes. Squeezed them shut, actually and clamped a hand over them. And, only then did her speech return. "I am so sorry, Luke," she said gesturing with her other hand. She hesitated before turning and feeling her way out of the apartment. She closed the door and took her hand from her eyes. "Nice, Lorelai. Freakin'...nice," she whispered with a roll of her eyes. She descended the stairs on shaky legs.

Luke came down minutes later dressed in black dress pants and a tight black shirt that showed off muscles that had been completely exposed to Lorelai moments before. He pulled his jacket on, avoiding eyes with her. She kept tossing glances at him as she sat on the other side of the counter. When he looked up at her, she stiffened and held eye contact.

"You ready to go?" He asked.

She slid off her stool. "Yeah, uh, my jeep's out front."

He bent down and picked up a small duffel bag from the floor. "Okay," he said guardedly as he rounded the counter and headed toward the door. "Caesar, Lane will be here in two hours. Try not to burn anything until then--namely, my diner."

"Gotcha!" Caesar yelled back happily. "Have a good night."

"Yeah, you too," Luke responded. He grabbed the handle of the door and stepped back, looking back at Lorelai.

She looked at him momentarily before giving him a small smile and hurrying past him.

They both climbed into her jeep. Lorelai closed her eyes before looking over at him in the passenger seat. He stared out the windshield. "Luke, I--"

He looked over at her. "Lorelai, the timetable," he interrupted.

Lorelai looked away. "Right," she said. "I...gu-guess we better get going." She turned the jeep on and pulled away from the curb.

The drive took forty-five minutes, and it was driven in complete silence. As she pulled into a parking space at the building, she put the jeep in park and released a sigh, turning the radio off along with the jeep. She turned to Luke and watched as he tried his best to avoid looking in her direction. Rolling her eyes, she asked, "Luke, are you mad at me?"

"About what?" He asked tightly.

"You know what about, okay. And, judging by the tone of your voice now and the fact that I haven't _heard _your voice the entire drive up here, I suppose that's a 'yes'."

He suddenly looked at her. "I don't want to talk to you about this."

"We have to address it eventually," she said reasonably.

"Lorelai, let's go inside," he said as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Luke, we are both adults here. We can talk about this."

"Lorelai."

"I said I was sorry, okay? I didn't mean to--I shouldn't have just walked in like that."

He looked at her with attitude. "No, you shouldn't have just walked in like that," he snapped. "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"I did knock," she defended.

"Did you knock and wait for an answer?" He asked louder.

"So, you are mad?" She asked knowingly.

"You're damn right I'm _mad_," he punctuated. "Don't I have a reason to be?"

"I guess--" She caught his look. "I mean, you have a reason to be upset...I suppose. But, Luke, honest to God, it was an accident, and you have no idea how sorry I am."

"Yeah, well, your sorries won't turn back time, now will they?" He asked as he climbed out of the jeep in a huff.

Lorelai's head fell back against the headrest tiredly. "Ughhh," she growled. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," she muttered before pulling the handle and kicking open her own door.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

"Informative, hunh?" Lorelai asked Luke as she put together a makeshift meal from the various finger foods. The meeting had just ended.

"Very," he said simply as he looked over some of the handout sheets. She had tried talking to him during the meeting, but he had managed to brush her off every time.

"You want something to eat?" She asked him.

"No," he answered gruffly.

She looked up at him and rolled her eyes as she looked back down to the food. "_But, thank you for your generosity_, _Lorelai,_" she mumbled, adding what he obviously had no desire to.

"Excuse me?"

"You think you can be more rude?"

"I'm not being rude. You asked if I wanted some food, and since I do not want any food, I answered you accordingly," he said coldly.

"Whatever."

"Ditto," he said returning attention back to the sheets.

Lorelai set her plate on the table angrily. "Luke, I am sick of this."

"Sick of what?" He asked setting down the papers and folding his arms over his chest.

"Your being like this--all cold and mean. It's completely uncalled for."

He shrugged. "Okay."

Lorelai waited a few seconds. Fanning her arms out, she asked, "Okay, _what_?"

"Okay...okay."

She tossed her hands up. "So, you agree, then?"

Luke shook his head. "No."

"Well, then, say something. Put the monosyllabic talk aside for two freakin' seconds and talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"So, what, you hate me now?" She asked.

He rolled his eyes. "Of course I don't hate you. I'm a little annoyed. And, I just have absolutely no desire to ever talk about it."

"Well, we _should _talk about it because apparently it's not going away, and we have to be around one another."

"We'll manage."

Lorelai leaned on one leg. "Luke, you're being childish. I don't understand what the big deal is. I mean, it's not like..." She paused and looked around, "...it's not like I...why are you so certain that I...saw anything?" she asked looking down.

"Oh, please."

"Please what?" She asked lamely.

"Please let's not go there. That's what. Subtlety really isn't your strong suit," he said remembering exactly what her eyes were focused on.

She looked at him for a moment before rolling her eyes slowly. "And neither is lying," she admitted quickly. "Which is why I will admit that I did see...stuff. But, it doesn't mean you have to act weird."

"I am not acting weird. And, can we not talk about this anymore?" He asked looking around uncomfortably.

Lorelai frowned and looked at him like he was crazy. "Why are you acting like such a prude? It's not like you have anything to be em--" She stopped and crossed her arms in annoyance. "You know what? I'll meet you in the car," she said as she walked past him.

He looked down at the table. "What about your food?"

"I'm not hungry," she replied, still walking.

He started walking behind her. "You were hungry two minutes ago," he said speeding up to keep up with her.

"And, now I'm not. What, did you get up early, drive down, and help prepare the spread?" She asked smartly.

"No," he answered anyway.

"Then, don't concern yourself with it."

"So, now, _you're _mad, is that it?"

"I'm frustrated, Luke. I'm not mad." She kept walking toward her jeep, Luke now beside her.

"With me?"

She stopped. "Of course with you. Who else is acting like a jackass?"

He reared back. "A what?"

"You heard me," she said tiredly. "Luke, I told you I was sorry. It was a mistake. It wasn't like I was standing outside looking through the peephole, waiting for you to drop your towel." She folded her arms. "It was careless, I know. Me just entering like that was careless, but it happened, and it's over, so please just accept my apology and stop acting like a jerk because you're kind of...hurting my feelings."

He looked at her momentarily. "Then, I'm sorry," he said shrugging. "I didn't mean to do that."

She just stared at him like she was determining how genuine his words were. "Okay," she finally replied.

"Okay," he echoed. He looked down. "So, we're good?"

"I guess. You forgive _me_?"

"I guess. What's done is done."

Lorelai shook her head. There was no doubt in her mind that he was still holding a grudge. He wasn't very hard to read. She hoped that it wouldn't take long for him to get over it so that their regular friendship could resume. Without all the discomfort.

They both turned and headed for the jeep.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

"Lorelai, this place is gorgeous, Honey. This baby's going to drum up so much business, you won't know what to do with yourself!" Babbette remarked happily.

Lorelai smiled greatly. "Thank you, Babbette. I'm so glad that you like it."

"Like it? Honey, I love it! It's an absolute beaut."

"It is a dream come true."

"I'll say," she commented. "Hey, listen Doll, they're about to start a game of Jenga in the other room, and I don't want to miss it. You want to play with us?"

"No, thanks. I have to go mix and mingle," she said moving her hand in a circle. "But you go have a good time."

"Oh, I plan to. Any excuse to play with wood, I always say."

Lorelai laughed. "Wow. Thanks...for sharing that," she said as Babbette flashed a grin and disappeared in the room of people. She laughed again and turned around to go on speaking with everyone in attendance at the test run.

When she felt like she had done a sufficient job of making the rounds, she joined Sookie in the inn's kitchen.

She grabbed a pot of coffee and filled her mug. "We're doing it, Sookie," Lorelai said with contained excitement.

Sookie smiled as she wiped her hands on her apron. "We are. And, everyone looks so happy, too. You can't even tell we forced them to be here."

"I know. We're like the best kidnappers ever."

"Well, if you're going to do something, may as well rock at it."

"That's all I'm saying," Lorelai said knowingly before taking a long sip of her coffee. "You know, Cinderella, you're allowed to join the ball if you want to. You don't have to stay cooped up in the kitchen all night," Lorelai said. "Dinner's over, so you have no more slaving to do for a while."

Sookie waved her hand. "Oh, I'm fine. I go out there every so often." She moved over toward the door and peaked out. "Everyone still having a good time?" She asked Lorelai.

"They're having a blast. They're gearing up to play Twister, so the fun-o-meter is about to zoom through the roof."

"Ooh, sounds great," Sookie said sticking her head out farther. "They've taken the game out. It looks like Rory's going to be the caller."

"That's my girl," Lorelai said from the background.

Sookie continued to peak into the main room. "Ooh, there's Bootsy. I didn't know he'd be here," she said excitedly. "And Morey! Hi, Morey," she said loudly. She turned back to Lorelai. "When'd Morey get here?" She asked before turning back. "Oh, my god, is that Kirk?!"

"Sookie," Lorelai said chuckling, "these are people you and I see everyday. You're acting like Bon Jovi just joined the festivities."

"Ooh, Bon Jovi's here?" Sookie asked, sticking her head out further.

Lorelai smiled to herself. "Yes. Yes, he is Sookie, and that's why I'm in here talking to you. Who wants to party with a rich, hot legend like him? That's _so_ 2003."

"Are you playing with me?" Sookie asked genuinely.

"Yes, Honey. And, apparently not very well," she said amused.

Sookie continued to peak out of the door. "Hey," she asked turning back, "where's Luke? I don't see him out there. He didn't leave, did he?"

Lorelai sighed. "No, he didn't leave. He went upstairs like an hour ago. I swear, if he wasn't so cute, he'd make the ultimate Oscar the Grouch, taking anti-socialism to new heights."

Sookie giggled. "Cute, hunh?" Lorelai smiled. "Why'd he leave the party, you think?"

Shrugging, she replied, "Maybe he spent some time with Bobby Brown and learned to own his prerogative."

Sookie walked over and leaned on the counter. "Maybe little Lukie's settling into his Scrooge mindset early this year."

Lorelai looked at Sookie and smiled slowly.

"What?" Sookie asked wide-eyed.

She shook her head lightly. "Nothing. It's just that you said... _little _Lukie," she said with a shrug.

"Yeah, so?"

"It's just a little funny, is all."

Sookie smiled. "Why is it funny?"

"No reason. It's just a bit...or a lot..._untrue_, which to me spells funny."

Sookie leaned up. "What are you talking about?"

Lorelai set her cup down. "I'm talking about nothing, Sweetie. Hey, how about some Twister?" She asked quickly.

Sookie looked at her confused. She was still trying to figure out what she had been getting at. "Honey, Twister? I'm not really all that bendy, so I don't think that--"

"Twister, it is!" Lorelai replied clapping. "Let's go," she said walking over and shoving Sookie toward the door.

"Aw, man," Sookie said as she got pushed along. "Well, at least let me stretch first."

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Lorelai sat on one of the chairs near the entrance as she held her fourth cup of coffee. She watched happily as nearly everyone she knew and adored in the small town sat at multiple tables, all playing games of Scrabble. More than half of the people would end up leaving by the night's end because there weren't enough rooms, but lots of people had been invited to dine and hang out at the Hollow's newest addition.

Her eyes fell instantly to the table on her far right as she heard another round of loud grumblings. All except one person at the table had, yet again, slumped unhappily down in their seats. "Sorry, guys," came Rory's one hundredth apology of the night. She looked over at Lorelai pitifully, and she smiled wide as Lorelai held up her thumb as encouragement.

"You know, if Rory weren't here, I'd be beating you guys by 50 points," Kirk commented as he marked another one of her triple word scores.

"Yeah, well, she is, and you're _losing _by more than 150 points. Deal with it," Miss Patty said as she looked closely at her own letters. "You're doing fantastic, Rory," she said trying to figure out a word to place on the board.

Lorelai watched the scene for a while longer before allowing her eyes to drift up the staircase. She wondered what Luke was up to and if he would decide to join them back downstairs. She was sure he heard the commotion. Between Miss Patty and Taylor's earlier argument, Sookie's gleeful gloat for having won a round of Twister, and the many other noises that she knew would go on for a couple more hours, she figured he'd have at least come out to see what was going on. But in room number seven he remained.

She slid her leg from its crossed position and stood up. She glanced around at everyone one last time and set her mug down before walking over to the staircase. She reached the top and paused in front of his door, making a conscious effort to knock soundly.

"Who is it?" She heard him ask from a distance.

"Lorelai," she said, looking down the empty hallway.

"Hold on," he said loudly.

She stepped back and leaned against the wall opposite his door. After a few seconds, the door opened, and Luke stood there in a pair of jogging pants and a loose t-shirt.

"Hey," he said casually. "What's up?"

She gestured inside. "You gonna stay in there all night?" She asked with a smile.

"That was the plan. Why, is my quiet civility interrupting the barn yard noises downstairs?"

"Exactly. That's what I came up here to tell you. So, we're on the same page?" She asked with feigned seriousness.

"Yeah, I'll try to work on my outdoor voice."

Lorelai smiled. "Seriously, you don't want to join everyone?" She asked.

"It's a sacrifice, but no, I'm gonna pass."

She nodded and was silent for a few moments. "Okay, then. Can I come inside?"

"Why?" He asked calmly.

"Well," she said as she walked nearer to him, "You're my guest, and I want you to have a good time tonight. If you don't want to come downstairs, then I'll bring downstairs to you."

He looked at her expressionlessly. "How very thoughtful of you," he deadpanned. "But, when I made that sacrifice comment, I was being sarcastic. I really am okay."

She walked past him into his room. "Okay, you got me," she said turning to face him. "This isn't for you. It's for me, for the reputation of my inn. When someone asks you what you did here at the wonderful Dragonfly inn, I can't take any chances of having your answer be anything below _'Oh, my god, dude, what didn't I do?' _"She said excitedly as she dropped her voice.

Luke closed the door. "Yeah, because I sound _just _like that," he replied blandly.

Lorelai walked further into the room. "It smells good in here. What is that?"

He moved over to his bed and sat on the edge of it. "It's soap. I just got out of the shower," he answered.

"I knew it smelled familiar. It smells like you."

"Thanks, I guess." He scooted back on the bed and laid down, his hands folded under his head.

Lorelai stood in the middle of the floor looking down at him. She smiled. "You can't go to sleep now, Luke."

"I'm not sleeping. I'm just lying down."

There were a couple chairs near the entertainment center, but Lorelai looked around briefly before walking over and climbing on his bed. She faced him and folded her legs Indian style near his upper body.

He glanced at her uncomfortably. "Hey," he said questioningly.

"Hi," she responded with a smile.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Okay," he said looking away.

Lorelai saw his eyes fall uncomfortably down to his body as if he was making sure nothing was visible. Finding that everything down to his feet was sufficiently covered, he released a breath and looked toward the ceiling. She rolled her eyes at his obvious paranoia with what had happened earlier.

She turned around and reached a hand inside his nightstand. "You want to play cards?" She asked turning back to face him. He looked at her, giving her an indifferent look. She smiled. "We can play strip poker," she suggested playfully.

His face turned red and he moved his eyes to the opposite side of the room.

"Oh, my god!" Lorelai said loudly in frustration. "What is wrong with you, Luke?"

"Nothing is wrong with me," he answered.

"Yes, there is really something wrong with you. Okay, I saw you naked. So? What is the big damn deal?"

"I didn't say it was big deal."

"Well, you're acting like it."

"You know, it's really easy for you to sit there and act collected like it's nothing out of the ordinary because it wasn't _you_ that was standing there in the buff."

"Even if it was, I wouldn't flip out like you."

"Talk is cheap," he said seriously.

"And, what is that supposed to mean? You want me to prove it?"

He looked at her wide-eyed. "No, no, that's not what I meant. I was just saying."

She stared at him momentarily. "What if I were to get naked?"

"What?!"

She repeated herself with composure. "What if I were to get naked? Would it make you feel better?" He looked at her, getting more shocked with each second since she seemed to be serious. "Tit for tat, right? Will you feel better about being around me?"

Suddenly his mind could think of nothing other than what that image would be. Still, he tried not to feed into those thoughts. "Lorelai, that's infantile. You're not going to get naked," he said like he was making the decision for her.

"Why not?" She asked leaning on her knees.

"Because we're two adults, and this is not show-and-tell."

She was quiet for a moment. "I'll be right back," she said as she turned and climbed off of the bed.

He watched her walk into the bathroom and close the door. "The things that come out of her mouth..." he mumbled to himself. He hoped that the conversation was over. Sliding into a sitting position, he picked up the cards on the bed and took them out of the box. He began to shuffle them.

Just as he began a game of solitaire, the bathroom door opened and out stepped Lorelai. Luke looked up at her and just stared for moment. "What do you have on?"

She walked over to the bed. "It's a bathrobe, Luke. Have you never seen one before?"

He continued his game. "Of course I've seen one before. But, why are you wearing one?"

She looked at him play. "Because otherwise I'd be naked."

His head snapped up to her. "W-ww--what?"

She smiled and repeated it slower. "I said...because otherwise I would be _naked_." She smiled wider at his very open jaw. "Relax, Luke. It's completely up to you whether or not it comes off."

She placed a knee on the bed and got comfortable against the headboard. "So, what do you say? Gin?" She asked as she slid the cards from his hands. She picked up the rest and started to shuffle them. He was suddenly immobile. "Luke?" She asked as she waved a hand in front of his face.

He focused on her. "Do you want to play gin?" She asked again.

He looked at her sideways. "Are you insane?" He asked her.

"Of course not. Why do you ask?" She continued to shuffle the cards.

He watched dumbly as she went about acting like everything was normal. "You are, aren't you? You're insane."

"Luke, forget the robe," she said shrugging. "Just play cards."

He looked down at her robe. Shaking his head, he returned attention to her face. "I am not sitting here with you...like that."

She leaned back and regarded him. With a smile, she asked, "Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? Because it's weird. Just knowing--it's weird, okay?"

She stopped and set the cards down. "Do you want me to go get dressed?" His eyes shifted across the room. "Just say the word, and it's done." He looked at her for an instant before dropping his eyes nervously. She sat up. "Luke, listen to me. I know that what happened earlier was extremely uncomfortable for you. And, what I don't want is for there to be a big blue elephant in the room every time I see you..."

"Pink elephant," he corrected.

"Pink makes me gag," she said quickly before jumping back into her point. "I absolutely do not want that discomfort. I think this," she said pointing down at herself, "will help to even the playing fields a little." She leaned back up. "But, if you don't think it'll help or you don't want to go through with it, then, it's over. I'll go get dressed." She picked up the cards. "We'll go buy a patch of land for our new pet elephant and split custody."

Luke was silent. He looked into her face before allowing his eyes to fall, again, to the plush bathrobe that did the job of covering parts of Lorelai he never thought he'd get the option of unveiling. All that kept that robe there was him.

He looked back into her face as she concentrated on the cards in her hand. He licked his lips nervously and cleared his throat. "How...uh...do you know that this will work? I mean, it may just make it more uncomfortable. For both of us."

Lorelai shrugged. "I _don't _know if it'll work." They held eye contact for seconds. "You want me to go get dressed?" She asked tentatively. Luke looked away, then back at her. He swallowed hard. Looking down to the bed, he shook his head with little movement. Lorelai took the cards and sat them on the nightstand. Looking back at him, she asked quietly, "You want to go through with it, then?"

"I don't know."

Lorelai looked at him, trying not to find humor in his indecisiveness. She was positive that he wanted to do it. Not that he necessarily wanted to see her naked, but she figured that he wanted those playing fields a bit more even than they currently were. She sighed and stepped off of the bed. "I'll tell you what," she began as she walked over to the front door and locked it, "I'm going to stand right here..." She moved to the foot of the bed and stopped. "I am going to count to three and loosen the robe. If you want to look, by all means..." She paused, "and if you don't want to, then don't. Fair?"

Luke shook his head. "I feel like I'm back in Junior High."

"I doubt any boy in Junior High would pass up this opportunity, Butch."

"Don't call me that," he said flatly.

Lorelai smiled wide. "Butch Danes knows how to make the girls go wild," she said exaggeratedly.

"Lorelai."

"'Butch! Butch!' they'd yell as he'd walk by looking _oh, so yummy_ in those little tiny shorts. With his big, strong muscles and his _huuuge _..." She stopped and looked uncomfortably to Luke. She dropped her gaze. "...uh, b-brain," she ended pathetically. She made a quick mental note to start thinking before speaking.

Luke looked temporarily blind-sided. Judging by her reaction, he was certain where she was getting ready to go. He saw the delicate blush creeping onto her cheeks, and it was somewhat relieving for him to witness it on her. She had been acting unaffected by the whole ordeal, so to see her exhibit any signs of embarrassment was a defining moment. And, no matter how much he wanted to deny it, he was internally beaming at having her think that he was...not lacking.

He stood up and folded his arms.

Lorelai looked over at him. "What?" She asked of his stance.

"You okay?" He asked with a small smile.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why the smirk?" She asked.

He smiled. "I'm not smirking."

"You are so smirking." He looked down. Several seconds passed by in silence. "You are _such_ a guy," Lorelai replied as she watched him.

He looked up at her. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm sure you don't," she said as she moved her gaze down on his body intentionally.

Luke turned to the side. "Lorelai, seriously!"

"What?" She asked with an innocent shrug.

He turned back toward her. "Okay."

She smiled. "Okay, what?"

"Okay," he said motioning toward her. "You can do it." He was growing tired of being at such a huge disadvantage. Especially with her.

She looked upward in thought as her smile broadened. "Do what?" She asked looking back at him.

"You really want me to say it?"

"Yeah, I kind of do. Humor me," she answered as she placed her hands on the ties of the robe. Luke's eyes fell to where her hands rested. She smiled as she watched him. She slowly began to pull at one end. When the bow was undone, she paused. "Say it," she said quietly.

"It," he said, his eyes never leaving its chosen focus.

"Okay, have it your way," she said as she began to re-tie it.

"Wait!" He said a little too enthusiastically. Lorelai laughed. "I mean..." He rolled his eyes. With more control, he said, "I'll say it."

She took a couple of steps closer to the bed. "I'm listening."

Luke looked at her as she moved. "Um can you uh...I mean, do you mind..."

"Mm-hm," she urged as she unloosened the ties completely. She was moving slowly, having gotten completely enthralled in Luke's fascination with what was occurring. It was new. It was entirely new to have him looking at her the way that he was, and yet, she encouraged it and found herself marveling in it.

She held the robe together with her hands as she watched him. He continued. "Do you mind..." He sighed. "Lorelai, will you take off your robe...please?"

Lorelai bit her lip as she looked at him intensely. "Gladly," she responded softly. She moved a slow hand to the lapel of the robe and smiled coyly. Moving her hand up a bit more, she slid the fabric off of her right shoulder. Then, there was a gradual pause that had Luke looking into her face concerned.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

She smiled. "It's a little weird."

He gave her a genuine smile. "Not so easy, is it?" He asked. "Now imagine if it had been unexpected," he added knowingly. She smiled again and dropped her gaze. "Don't worry about it. Elephant gone," he said as he flopped down on the bed.

Lorelai looked up at him and brought her lips in momentarily. "Can you come here?" She asked softly.

He gave her a confused expression. "Can I...?"

"I want you to come here. Please."

Luke looked around the room thoughtfully before climbing off of the bed. He moved cautiously over toward her and stopped in front of where she stood, about a foot away. "What can I do for you?"

She looked into his eyes and sighed. "You can watch me," she said stepping just a little closer to him. "You ready?"

She noticed his chest rising and falling. "I told you that you don't have to--"

"No, Luke. I want to." She let her eyes travel down his neck, torso... "So, are you ready?" She asked again. She swung her body lightly from side to side before taking another slight step. He looked at her silently. Lorelai smiled and reached a hand up underneath his chin. Her fingers slid across his cheek before she gently moved his head up and down. She chuckled. "Yeeeees or..." She, then, moved his face from right to left. "...or noooo?" She asked playfully. Removing her hand, she sighed at his still solemn expression. "Do you want me to do it?" She asked warily.

His jaw tightened. "Lorelai, what are you doing?"

She shifted her eyes. "What do you mean? I'm...following through," she replied like it was an obvious answer.

"Are you?"

She blinked several times. "Yeah."

He dropped his eyes to her body before looking back in her eyes. "Okay," he said simply. "Go ahead. I'm ready."

She bit down on her lip in contemplation. Finally, with a small smile, she replied, "No guts, no glory."

And then her robe slid to the floor.

Luke's eyes stayed focused on her eyes for a second longer before dropping his gaze to her body.

Lorelai fanned her arms out to her sides. "See," she began happily. "No embarrassment to speak of."

Luke brought his eyes back up. "Definitely no need for embarrassment."

She smiled, her cheeks turning shades of pink.

He was silent for a moment. "You shave?" he asked quietly with an inquisitive twist of his lip.

Lorelai looked down her body. Looking back to him, she replied, "Trim, Luke. Trim." She suddenly felt a huge rush of weirdness. She was discussing her private grooming habits with Luke. And, yet, standing in front of him in the nude, she was feeling saturation building.

"Hmmm. Never would have thought."

"Learn something new everyday," she responded looking down at him through his jogging pants. He watched her, knowing exactly what was holding her attention so effectively. With her standing naked inches away, he wasn't feeling the same awkwardness about it. He glanced down, making sure that his body was still being obedient through all that was going on in front of him. He looked back at her, satisfied that everything was still in place.

Lorelai brought a hand to her arm and began rubbing gingerly as a slow chill began to encompass her exposed skin.

Luke moved toward her slowly, and she brought her hand down as she looked into his face expectedly. Her fingers came out and grabbed a light hold on his shirt as his body came shy of being pressed up against hers. He stared down at her mouth, and if he were to move his up at all, their lips would have touched.

"Allow me," he whispered. He stepped back a bit before bending down and extending a hand on either side of her body. He grasped the bathrobe in both his hands and started to pull it up behind her. Lorelai looked down to him, and as soon as he locked eyes with her, he began erecting himself slowly, allowing the soft cotton of the robe to brush her body sensually as it moved upward.

Once standing, he pulled the robe as far as her upper back before he stopped. Lorelai's eyes were fixed on his lips, and he felt her breath coming out and flowing pleasantly over his chin and neck. He stopped movement of the robe and let it go, allowing it to fall quietly back to the floor. Her gaze moved to his eyes.

Placing a hand on her side, he felt Goosebumps form on her skin as he slid it down over her buttocks and to her right thigh as he watched her for a reaction. He lifted her leg and placed it on his side. He felt her secure her leg further, and he wrapped his arm fully around her waist as he lifted her up causing her other leg to latch on the other side.

They stared intensely at one another with increased breathing. Luke walked forward toward the door. Upon reaching that area, he pressed Lorelai against the wall, allowing her to slide down a bit as he pressed himself directly into her increasingly moist center. She released a strangled moan and squeezed her eyes shut tightly. He moved his hand to her cheek as he pressed his lips onto hers.

Lorelai felt him swell against her as he circled his hips. She moved both hands into his hair and pulled clumps of it into tight fists as their tongues battled together. Lorelai's mouth fell wide open, and her eyes rolled far back into her head as he moved his lips to the skin of her neck.

"Oh...my...fuc--plea--please tell me you ha--a--have a condommmm..." Lorelai managed to say as she clutched at anything on his body that she could hold onto.

"Mmm-hmm," he mumbled against her skin.

She pushed at his shoulders. "Stop, stop, stop," she said quickly as he continued. "Luke, please stop," she whispered breathlessly one last time as she pushed more determinately. He pulled away, keeping her lower half locked firmly onto his. She looked down between them. "You're killing me," she breathed out. She closed her eyes briefly. "Please get the condom."

He breathed rapidly. He nodded as common sense came flooding back into his head. He pulled her body back to his as he turned and walked quickly toward the bed, kissing her all along her clavicle as he did so. Depositing her onto the large bed, he began to strip off all of his clothes as he walked over to his bag. He pulled out a condom and stuck it between his teeth as he fumbled with the rest of his clothing.

Lorelai lay on the bed, awaiting his return as she resisted the urge to reach a hand down between her legs. She squirmed around, breathing heavily. Luke came to stand directly between her knees as he tore the condom wrapper open, nearly shaking from his anticipation. She sat up, pausing at the near sight of him. Seeing him earlier held no candles to seeing his full erection as he stood in front of her. She swallowed hard.

"Allow me," she said as she replaced his hands with her own. He had already placed it on the tip and she moved inward, using her mouth to slide it as far as his generous sizing allowed. "Mm," she mumbled as she pulled back and rolled it the rest of the way.

Luke's mouth had fallen open. "Now, who's killing who?" He asked breathily.

She scooted back onto the bed and began pulling and snatching the covers off in an effort to cut down on the heat she was now experiencing. Once the majority of it was on the floor, she looked down at Luke. Taking his queue from her, he climbed onto the bed. He kissed her ankles, her calves, her thigh, her uppermost thigh until he was close enough to smell her intoxicating scent. He breathed her in. Taking his thumb, he ran it gently over her swollen clitoris. A low groan came from Lorelai, letting him know how sensitive she was to touch at this point.

He isolated his middle finger and set it lightly at her opening before stroking it and slowly letting it slide into her. He pushed it in and out slowly. Seeing that Lorelai was being taken to new levels of pleasure, he moved upward and flicked his tongue along her love bump. He felt the sheets move beneath him as she bunched nearly all of it up in her palms. He increased his finger movement, moving in to push his tongue against her even more. He closed his eyes and worked his mouth as if he was being graded. He got lost in the act. Lorelai's internal walls pulsated tightly against his finger, finally helping him to realize that she was well into a toe-curling orgasm. Extracting his finger, he sat up and continued his journey up her body.

When his face was over hers, he leaned down and kissed her on her cheek once before capturing her lips with his. He felt her hand wrap around his length, and he groaned loudly into her mouth. She stroked him slowly. His hips moved windingly with her hand movement. Just as Luke began to lose himself in her soft touch, he felt himself at her opening. Her hands grazed over his lower back before moving to his ass where she applied a gentle pressure.

He pushed into her slightly. They kissed passionately, it turning almost animalistic as her excessive wetness caused him to just slip in further with ease. They broke the kiss simultaneously, Lorelai leaning her head back and pushing it hard into the mattress and Luke controlling his breathing as he pushed in and out of her.

"God, Luke..." Lorelai said between moans.

He reared back some, lifting his body off of hers slightly as he made a gesture for her to move her right leg over to join the other. She did so. He lay behind her as he hit several slow, winding strokes before following them up with deeper, harder ones. Lorelai groaned continuously. He went deeper. She made a move to sit up and he followed her movements until she was on her knees, him behind her. He grabbed a hold of her hips and plunged himself into her even more.

Lorelai moaned loudly. Volume was definitely about to become a problem. She grabbed a pillow and buried her face into it as Luke pushed every inch of his length inside of her. He grunted as his thrusts became even more powerful. Lorelai screamed loudly into the pillow. She reached up and grabbed the headboard to gain some leverage. She began to push herself back onto him, intensifying the feeling. Her body trembled...even before the orgasm hit. She met his thrusts for as long as she could before she went weak and numb with pleasure. Luke reached a hand underneath her, rubbing his way over her breasts before he moved his fingers to her clitoris. As soon as he touched it, Lorelai gasped, that small touch sending her flying over the edge. Her climax was reached with unbelievable intensity. She cried out, smashing her face in the pillow once again as the short scream that didn't get muffled rang out in the room.

Luke dug his fingers into her sides as he pulled her hard against him, his orgasm approaching just as hard. He squeezed his eyes shut and grunted as his body went into several short spasms behind her. He took a moment to get his breathing together before he pulled out of her carefully and fell back onto his heels. Lorelai remained on her knees, her face still buried in the pillow as small aftershocks kept her immobile.

He crawled up and fell tiredly on the mattress beside where she still kneeled. He reached a hand over to her face and moved her hair back. Stroking her cheek with his finger, he saw a slow smile spread over her face as she moved slowly to lie on her side. She looked at him and shook her head.

"We are _definitely_ doing that again," she said, causing him to chuckle.

-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Lorelai shut the door quietly behind her as she looked down the inn's hallway and listened closely for continuing sounds of enjoyment downstairs. She didn't have to listen very long at all. She sighed when she heard Miss Patty tell Taylor to _'shut up'_ and released an even bigger breath when she heard a nice heated round of Charades taking place.

She was aware of how careless she had been. She had no idea what she would have done if anyone, namely Rory, was knowledgeable about what was going on in Luke's room. She'd been missing for about a half an hour to forty-five minutes, and she wondered briefly if anyone would even notice that she had left. She couldn't see anyone when she looked downstairs, but they sounded as if they were close enough to the stairwell to where they'd take notice of her as she came down. _All _of Stars Hollow would take notice.

She moved over to the back stairwell and exited that way.

Once outside, she walked quickly around the front and paused in front of the door as she took a moment to collect herself. She placed her hair behind her ears, straightened her shoulders and walked through the door.

"Lorelai!" Came about a dozen or so voices. "Where have you been, Honey?" That was Sookie.

Lorelai smiled. "Hey everybody." She closed the door and moved nearer to where everyone was. "I just, uh, you know, went..." She pointed toward the door and smiled widely. "You know," she ended.

Babbette spoke up loudly. "Of course. She went home for a minute," she said knowingly to everyone. "You went to get some CD's, Doll?" She asked her with knitted brows.

Lorelai tossed her hands up. "Sure," she answered laughing. Looking down at her hands, she laughed again. "And, it looks like I forgot them." She hit herself on the forehead. "Smart, Lorelai."

"Don't worry about it. Taylor's whining is about all the noise that I can take for one night, anyway," replied Gypsy.

Taylor waved a hand at her and went back to sulking in his chair.

Everyone turned attention away from Lorelai and back to the game, secretly making Lorelai's day.

Rory emerged from the crowd and came over to her with a smile. "Hey, Mom. I was wondering where you went. Did you--" She paused and leaned toward Lorelai while sniffing. Lorelai backed up a little bit. She had taken a quick shower in Luke's room, so she knew Rory wasn't smelling anything that would scar her for life, but she still didn't appreciate being sniffed.

"What are you doing there, Hon?" She asked playfully.

"What is that?" Rory asked questioningly.

Lorelai shrugged. "You're the one that's sniffing me like you're a narcotics dog and I'm one of the Bush twins. You tell me."

"It smells really familiar, but I can't place--oh!" She said suddenly as she snapped her fingers. "You smell like Luke," she commented. She smiled, obviously satisfied with having figured it out. "Why do you smell like Luke?" She asked casually.

Lorelai gave a defensive shrug. "Why do I have to smell like Luke? Luke isn't the _sole_ owner of this brand of soap."

Rory looked at her strangely. "I didn't say that he was." She relaxed her features. "Did you go home and take a shower or something?"

"Hey, what is it with all the questions? You know. I'm--just--I mean when has it become illegal to shower in the middle of an event...and put back on the same clothes, hunh?" Lorelai asked with a paranoid smile.

Rory regarded her blankly. "You're weird at openings. I don't want to go to anymore with you," she said with a playful whine as she glanced around.

"I'll keep that in mind, Hon. Well, off I go to mingle," she said as she tried to hurry away.

"Hey, Mom?" Rory called. Lorelai turned back nervously.

"Yeah."

"You didn't change my soap, too, did you? You know I break out easily."

Lorelai gave a relieved chuckle. "Oh, no, Honey. Just mine. It's just my...thing."

"Okay, good," she said with a smile. "You know, it's weird you and Luke using the same soap now. Next thing you know...you'll be dating," she said teasingly. She smiled and walked away.

Lorelai smiled nervously. "Yeah," she whispered. _'And having some incredible sex,'_ she added mentally. _'Speaking of which...'_

She turned toward the crowd. "Hey, anyone have any Advil?"

"Yeah," Babbette said as she reached for her purse. "What's wrong? You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said moving over toward her slowly. She sighed. "I've just had a hectic couple of hours. And, at the end of the day, I..._took a lot_," she replied with a small smile.

"Awww. Stress?" Asked Babbette.

Lorelai laughed. "Sure."

**-The End-**

_I'm bringin' smutty baaack. Yeah! Them otha writers don't know how to aaact. Yeah! _


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